When I started my coaching business 15 years ago, little did I know the journey I was about to take. I thought my business was going to be all about helping others, but I soon discovered that it would also become the playground and catalyst for my own spiritual growth.
In short, I discovered that I had to call my power back – the power I had somehow lost from just being in life.
I soon found out that I had a strong addiction to feeling insecure. And as I went about setting up my coaching business that's when my insecurity decided to be high alert and come into full view. And wouldn’t you know - that starting my business would be custom-made for me to reclaim my power and see who I really am and what I’m made of.
And boy, did my insecurity bubble-up - because there was this issue of having to let the world know that I was available for hire. If I wanted a real business, I would have to advertise myself. I was going to have to put myself out there. I was going to have to experience rejection. There would be judgments and criticisms about my point of view, my writing, and my programs. And I would have to sell myself and ask for money - yikes!
I have come to see that even though we humans want change, sadly, we don’t want to do what it takes to change. And for me in those early years of my business, all I wanted to do was scurry back to my comfort zone and hide out. And so that’s what I did for the first five years of my coaching business.
So how did I call my power back? What happened to my insecurity?
When I came across this understanding we call The 3 Principles, I heard a big truth about who I really am and that I have everything I need already within me (including confidence). I heard that truth in a big way. I felt the chills of that truth the moment I heard it. It felt like freedom.
I wish I could tell you that from that moment on my insecurity was up and gone. I wish I could tell you that I claimed my power and became this confident woman who came out of hiding. That didn’t happen.
But what was clear to me is that I was tired of being my old insecure self. I was fed up hiding out. I was tired of my addiction.
But there was an epiphany that happened. Because as nice and wonderful as that TRUTH was that I heard. It wasn’t enough to create the change I was wanting.
I realized that if I really wanted to believe that who I really am is so much bigger than the woman I had seen in the mirror every day all these years - If I really wanted to believe that I had everything I needed – that I was really and truly hard-wired and designed for confidence, creativity, abundance, and resilience – if that were all true - then at some point I would have to take that understanding and move it into the body and actually take on the experience of speaking out – that if a microphone was put in front of me, I wouldn’t be off and running for the hills. I would have to physically and mentally put my small self out there and sell myself and my services.
I had to show myself that I could be comfortable and be fully present in the moment – and not run away and hideout. And even if I did fall down, I’d be able to get up again.
I have been so (innocently) guilty of hearing a TRUTH – like the one I heard that day – and hoping that just hearing it would somehow magically change me. But what I’ve come to see is that God, Source, or Universal Intelligence – whatever you choose to call it – wants to rendezvous with us – wants to be in partnership with us - wants to wake us up to our power - wants to "play" with us in our playground of choice. This Divine hand is stretching out to us and calling us to believe in who we really are.
As a child, I remember my dad teaching me how to swim. It took a while for me to learn how to tread water and not sink to the bottom of the pool - and the reason I got over my fear of sinking was that I trusted my dad. If he said I could do it, then I believed him. I worked with him and not against him.
Are you willing to trust the truth about who you really are and stretch out your hand? Can you meet the Universe halfway? Are you ready to get your power back?