Do you remember the first time you had a glass of alcohol? How about your first cup of coffee or tea? What about cigarettes? Do you remember the first time you had your first taste of insecurity?
Whether it’s one or the other, or all of them, that first time was a pivotal moment, because you made a decision there and then, to continue having it be a part of your life, or not. That’s the day you started your habit, or not.
Did you notice how I lumped in insecurity with all the other commonly known habits? We don’t typically see insecurity as a habit. We see it as a personality trait that we’re born with – as if it’s part of our DNA. The belief that insecurity was just who I was, kept me hooked to a life that got increasingly small and constricted.
In the same way that my temporary addiction to alcohol in my 20’s left me with some awful hangovers and a dysfunctional lifestyle, my addiction to insecure thinking led to other addictive behaviors such as excessive people-pleasing; hiding out and playing small, and always worrying about what others were thinking about me. These habits stayed with me for decades.
But let’s go back to that first day – that pivotal moment when you made the decision to invite insecurity into your life.
You were probably quite young; and more than likely, someone said something to you that stopped you in your tracks; maybe you were rejected by your friends, or told that your painting was crap. Who knows? But it made a dent; it touched a nerve within you that changed the way you saw yourself. And because it hurt so much, you gave yourself the label “I’m insecure”.
Not everyone who drinks alcohol or tea and coffee are addicted. Some of us can take it or leave it. And it’s the same with insecurity. Those pivotal moments I describe are universal – all eight-plus billion of us have had one of those moments. But not everyone turns it into a habit.
When I discovered that insecurity and imposter syndrome were just habits of thinking, my world opened up. Why? Because gone were the thoughts that I was defective or lacking; and gone was the need to keep trying to change my behavior, mindset, and the pressure to fake it at being confident. Gone was all the exhaustion of working on myself.
What I've come to understand – and it’s at the heart of what I share in my work – is that what happened to some of us - on one of those pivotal days - is that we innocently got caught up in believing that what we were thinking at the time was the truth about us. And we also innocently didn’t understand that if we had of left those lies alone – if we hadn’t invited them in for a cozy chat - those lies would have moved on of their own accord in the same way that debris floats downriver.
When you understand how it all works – you'll create a space between YOU and the habits that don’t feel good.
And when you adjust your understanding of who you really are and the stuff that’s flowing through us - that's when you'll change the foundation for your life.
That’s the tectonic shift we’re all looking for.
If you're interested in having a tectonic shift in your life around insecurity and confidence, then you won't want to miss out on my online course...see all the details below.
CONFIDENCE IN A BOX
It's self-guided, self-paced, and it's all video-based so that you can watch it in the comfort and privacy of your own home.
Confidence in a Box is where I share everything I've learned and realized over the course of 2 decades both as a coach and practitioner, about how to access and uncover your natural confidence without having to spend endless hours managing and coping, without having to fake it 'till you make it!
Curl up in your PJ's with a bowl of popcorn, an open mind, and find out how you can break the habit of being your insecure self!
CONFIDENCE IN A BOX!
Confidence is a wonderful feeling of freedom Want some?