WHEN YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO NEXT!
There were big changes in my life in 2023 - after 35 years of living in the US, Tim and decided to dismantle that life and move to Ireland. Best move ever! And because of our big move - (moving house, country, and two dogs is not for the faint of heart) - I decided to take a sabbatical from my work as a personal development coach.
I've spent 15 years coaching women how to show up with more confidence and magnetism in their work and relationships. But now that the dust has settled and it’s time to think about going back to work, I find myself wanting to do something else - something different. I’m not necessarily thinking about a radical change, like becoming an accountant - although I’m open to anything - I may stay in my field of expertise because I love empowering women, but I’m thinking about a change in how I do my work.
BUT FOR RIGHT NOW, THE FORCE ISN'T MOVING ME.
And just like my big desire to move to another country, I can sense that there’s a big change coming in how I put my work out into the world.
And there’s the rub - I have no idea what form my work will take. And I find myself wondering:
Shouldn’t I know?
Shouldn’t I be getting on with it?
I’ve been in this place before - that magical and panicky place when I have no idea what I’m going to do. I have gone through cycles of change where it feels as if a part of me dies off - I’m this half-formed person yearning for identity - and I know I have to move on to something new.
We desire a new career, new house, new country, or new partner. We’re continually reinventing ourselves with new standards and desires of what we want.
But it’s not the same as wanting to change your hairstyle or change your diet. I’m talking about fundamental changes that change the essence of who we are. And that kind of metamorphosis goes on throughout our lives. It's the most scary and exciting - and It never stops. Have you noticed this pattern?
One thing is clear - when the old version of me wants to die off - and my mind is made up - change is inevitable - I’ve jumped off the cliff so to speak, but the problem is that I haven’t found a place to land. The new version of me hasn’t shown up yet, hasn’t revealed herself. And it’s this uncertainty and lack of control where there’s no immediate answer - that’s when it feels so unnerving.
In the past, my immediate response was always to get into action and think long and hard about what I should do. And so I’d try to force my new life and identity into place - because the uncertainty of it all would be too much. The brain wants to take over and cling to anything to make us feel safe and certain once again, even though we're bored or uninspired.
So, what do we do? The short answer is TO NOT FIGHT IT.
Whenever I’ve tried to force my new life or identity into place, I suffer. It’s like trying to push a noodle. Impossible.
So what am I doing? I’m taking my hands off the steering wheel and allowing the Universe, the force to guide me, to tell me what to do. And that could look like doing nothing, taking naps, hugging my dogs, long walks in nature, or binge-watching movies. I’m doing what shows up in front of me without any judgment.
In these relaxed states, I’m not panicking but trusting - trusting that the force will get around to telling me what to do. I am surrendering to not knowing.
And then one day when I slip into that space of knowing that whatever is happening is OK - that’s when I’ll get an impulse to do something new - I’ll feel excited and inspired by a new idea - that’s when I’ll know that the Divine has slipped-in to join me and speak to me about its plans for me.
But until then, I’ll just have to wait and see what happens. I’m going to have to trust that the force has big plans for me. I'm going to have to get quiet so I can hear.