You know what breaks my heart?
Smart women with no confidence. Smart women who don’t speak out and give their opinion; smart women who keep second-guessing themselves; and smart women who are constantly worrying about what others are thinking about them.
The reason it breaks my heart is…well…just take a look around and see the incompetency, the blunders, the lack of common sense, the lack of professionalism, the lack of good leadership. Boy, do we need smart confident women.
I once coached a woman who was a high- level administrator at a university. She confessed to me that she knew she could do her boss’s job – you see, she worked alongside him for years – she witnessed his blunders (which she often cleaned-up for him!), she did a lot of his hard, grunt work, while he served more as a figurehead basking in his role as president.
And yet, despite all of this and despite her longing to have his job, she just didn’t see herself as a leader, as a boss. She couldn’t quite line-up with that image of herself. And therein was the disconnect - therein was the problem. Her lack of confident leadership had nothing to do with her boss, but everything to do with her own sense of worth.
No amount of pretending, faking it till you make it; or putting on a mask can disguise how we deeply feel about ourselves. No amount of smart business attire or Channel No. 5 perfume can alter the image. People smell us a mile away. They pick up on our energy.
My client decided to interview for another job in another institution thinking that a fresh start would fix this problem, only to discover that she took herself with her.
Dropping your insecurity and impostor syndrome is entirely possible because that’s not who you really are at your core. No-one is an impostor. So many of us think we are that label. We think it’s a personality thing. That we’re born that way. We think we have to practice and pretend to be confident until we become it.
But here’s the BIG secret that I never knew:
Gaining confidence is not about adding or proving you’re confident through competencies. It’s about taking away, stripping away the stuff that’s covering it.
And what exactly is covering it? THOUGHTS. Patterns of thinking that you’ve been listening to for years and maybe decades.
And here’s another BIG secret that I never knew: You don’t have to DO anything with those thoughts – you don’t have to manage them, change them, or replace them with better feeling thoughts.
All you have to do is UNDERSTAND what they are and how they work. You just have to understand how the equipment of the mind works. Because when you do, you’ll know they have no power of you; and more importantly, you’ll know they are not you.
Understanding the nature of THOUGHT and how the equipment of the mind works is at the heart of my new online, self-guided course that you can watch in the comfort and privacy of your own home and at your own pace.
Women who have taken it have called it…the best course on confidence out there! Life-changing..& Brilliant.
So, if you’re looking for a life-changing experience, check it out HERE.
