Inauguration Day made me realize just how much on edge I have been for the last four years. It felt as if I’d been holding my breath and I didn’t really feel the full impact of this until this day. And it was only at 12 noon – the exact time that Trump handed over his power and became a citizen again – that I was able to give a sigh of relief.
It felt eerily familiar to a time when I finally left an emotionally abusive relationship. The day I walked out I let out a deep sigh of relief from years of walking on eggshells and shallow breathing.
I would come to discover though that my sigh of relief would continue to be interrupted with bouts of stress as the months went by. He had gone, but I was left with a horrible anxiety hangover.
My relationship hangover was because I stayed too long – I should have left much earlier than I did.
Deciding when to leave is always a difficult decision to make. We worry about what others will say, we worry we won’t be able to make it on our own, and some of us have a deep fear of being alone. I battled with all three of these issues.
So how do you know what to do? How do you know you’re listening to your fearful thoughts or whether we’re taking guidance from our inner wisdom?
When we listen to our fearful thinking it’s usually full of “shoulds” – I should stay because I’ll be criticized. I should stay otherwise I may not ever find another relationship. Can you feel the heaviness of these thoughts? They feel shackles-on.
When we listen to our wisdom it feels expansive and light – shackles-off. You can still feel scared and unsure of your future, but there’s a sense of peace and openness at the same time.
Somehow or other, I had the courage to listen and follow my inner wisdom, and what I discovered was that by doing this, life responded and rewarded me by opening doors that had previously been closed off me. My courage also revealed doors I never knew were there - doors of opportunity I could never have imagined. There’s a benevolent reciprocation that shows up to support us.
Following that call from my higher self has led me to a life I could never have imagined, and the relationship I was searching and longing for all along.
If you are struggling with relationship decisions, my new workshop: A Brand New Way of Dating: How to BE & FIND an amazing relationship, will help you confidently navigate these important decisions.