Four years ago I had an insight that changed everything for me. What I realized was that for my whole life I had been pre-occupied and obsessed with the idea of Transformation. I was forever wanting to transform my life from bad to good; and more importantly, transform myself from who I was at that time to someone else--someone else who I thought had better gifts, traits, and qualities. I thought this was a good thing.
I viewed it as me living my life with a "growth mindset"--something that I was supposed to do to get ahead and live up to my potential. And so, It's no surprise that I would go on to become a "transformation" coach. I took that word, that concept, that inspiring promise, and I turned it into what I thought was a worthy profession to help others on their path of transformation.
The word transformation is everywhere in the world of self-help. It's become a very trendy word, indeed, an obsession. Throughout my ten years of coaching others (and myself), I've noticed that there's a deep and pervasive dissatisfaction people have with themselves. Hence our desire to be someone else. And that's precisely where my insight comes in.
You see, I think we've (innocently) had it all wrong. I think we've been playing and experimenting with the wrong word; the wrong concept. Instead of focusing on Transformation, we should have been looking in the direction of Liberation--the liberation of our true and unique selves.
When I look back on my life, there was very little encouragement from others to honor my uniqueness. In fact, I was never aware that there was anything unique about me.
And so I was always looking and comparing myself to others; Always wanting what they had; never looking inside myself and exploring what I had to offer. Always using others as the standard for what I thought was a good life; a noble profession; a great talent to have and pursue.
Most of us have taken that path that disconnects us from our innate uniqueness. Our culture, parents, friends, teachers have (innocently) encouraged it. If a certain path has worked for someone else, then it would seem as if it would work for us too, if only we could model and replicate it.
But it's actually the opposite of what we need to do. It's not about wanting to transform ourselves into someone else or drift away from the core of who we really are. We want to LIBERATE our own unique spirit.