I sometimes think that it sucks to be a woman. We live in a world where women are fighting to own their own bodies; where women have lost their careers during the pandemic with no plan to reinstate them; where one in three women will experience sexual abuse, and where some countries don’t even believe that women should be allowed an education. But there’s nothing new here. Life has always sucked for women. Five thousand years of the Patriarchy have made sure of that.
But consider that we also may be living in the most auspicious of times, the most transformative of times. Consider that both men and women are sitting on the greatest opportunity not only for the survival of our planet, but for all of us to experience more love, joy, prosperity, and peace.
But let’s not jump ahead too fast, because if we want transformation, we first have to take a long, hard look at what’s under the rug. We have to acknowledge the grubby and gritty truth of what’s really going on for women (and for men!).
In short, here’s why it sucks to be a woman today.
Consider that 51% of the world’s population are women and that so many of those women suffer from insecurity, self-doubt, perfectionism, people-pleasing and endless renditions of I’m not good enough. Consider that a lot of smart women are hiding, hesitating. and holding themselves back from sharing their gifts. Consider that many don’t speak up because they fear that others will think their ideas are stupid and irrelevant. Consider that women are painfully reduced and restricted because they don’t like how they look and by their own insecurity.
The truth is that many women spend their days worrying about how to find a man, how to fit in, how to be a good girl, how to act nice, avoid being criticized, how to not come across as too big, too loud, too bossy, too sensual, too assertive, and here’s the big one - how to NOT look old and fat. Our preoccupation with our insecurity makes sense when the truth is that a whopping 97% of women admit to thinking at least once a day that they hate their bodies?
And so the great tragedy is that we have an epidemic of women distracted, manipulated, reduced, and imprisoned by their own insecurity and self-loathing – we are generations of women who have drunk the cool-aid and dutifully memorized the Patriarchal script of what it means to be a woman. We have innocently confined ourselves to a narrow and pinched-off life that doesn’t want to rock the boat and make waves - a life that doesn’t want to call unnecessary attention to ourselves in a world that we have rightly deemed unsafe. A world in which we don't see ourselves as significant or important - as leaders. And in so doing we have lost sight of who we truly are – before the world dimmed our light and told us who to be.
And therein lies the biggest waste of resources and power.
Somewhere along the way we lost connection with that person who once felt luminous, lit up, and carefree. - remember those days? We reached a point in life where we no longer trusted our inner compass, our wisdom. We stopped hearing the call of our soul. And why wouldn’t we? We haven’t felt safe in our bodies for a long time.
And in the end what we women are left with are the superficial (and expensive) attempts to feel good – the makeovers, the nip/tucks, mani-pedis, the weight loss programs, the putting up with relationships that are all wrong for us, the conforming to the Patriarchal scripts – we buy into all of it believing this is what’s going to make us feel beautiful, alive, free, and empowered, only to discover that it has a short shelf-life and keeps us cocooned in a life that continues to dim our divine light. We left home and can't find our way back.
It took me decades to realize that there was a deeper part of me that wanted to wake up to who I really am – to once again feel that lightness of being I used to feel when I was a very young girl.- when I used to feel comfortable and at home in my own skin. I wondered: where did that girl go to? And I got bored with being asleep. I just wanted to feel okay again. I wanted her back.
I believe this is the makeover we women are really wanting. This is the makeover that the planet wants.
And it’s the reason why this could be the most auspicious and transformative of times for all of us on the planet. It’s auspicious because when we can wake up the 51% of the population who have dimmed their light and checked out - when women can unshackle themselves from their insecurity and begin to discover who they really are - we free ourselves to be the creative geniuses we really are and in so doing, contribute to making our world more beautiful and sublime.
Imagine a life where the hours and years we spend in self-doubt, self-loathing, and insecurity are channeled into a life of self-love and unabashed self-expression. Imagine a world where we loosened the grip on believing we are not good enough. Imagine the joy of coming home to yourself.
If you are a woman who is interested in loosening the grip of insecurity and self-doubt - if you'd like to open the lid of the box and see what's inside and what's possible for you - if you'd like to take a deep dive into discovering the genius that lies within you - then send me a private FB message and I will keep you in the loop about a new program that's coming down the pipeline called: Waking up Your Genious. How to live and lead from the TRUTH of who we really are.
In the meantime, here's a wonderful conversation I had with best-selling author and coach, Michael Neill about how to take the handbrake off and live beyond our insecurity. CLICK HERE TO WATCH THIS RARE VIDEO. It's FREE.