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On this Thanksgiving Day,

Consider giving thanks for all the heartache and disappointment you've endured – for all of the people in your past who hurt or betrayed you. Can you be thankful for that?

Give thanks for all the losses and pain you've endured - the lost money, jobs, opportunities, clients - failing to achieve your dreams and goals.

Can you give thanks for the embarrassment, sadness, public shame, and humiliation you’ve had to live with?

When I look back on the many relationships I’ve had – the two marriages, two divorces, the live-in lovers, and all the people I’ve encountered who cheated and lied to me; the insincere ones, the ones who pressured and gaslighted me, all of them taught me so much about myself.

It’s hard to admit but my many failures in life - and I’ve experienced a pile of failures - have revealed how strong and resilient I am, how willing I am to risk feeling embarrassment, sadness, humiliation, or shame, and who I really want to BE. I am thankful I am learning to feel it all.

Flipping our notion of what we are thankful for in this way may seem odd, but it’s in those dark days that we get to decide about the direction of our lives, whether or not to pivot, to demand something new for ourselves, to embrace change, to live authentically.

In those moments we know so clearly what we don’t want - and that's when we know what we do want. And I've always been thankful of that.

I have come to see that true success is built on a pile of failures. We will feel better, stronger, and more joyful for all our failures and not in spite of them.

Let’s give thanks for all of it.



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