There is a voice that doesn’t use words. Listen.
– Rumi
Have you ever had one of those moments when the person you’re with does or says something to you that feels icky, disrespectful, or unkind – and you let it go because you hate confrontation, or you don’t want to risk losing the relationship?
As weird and dysfunctional as this sounds, I was once in a relationship with a guy who was rarely kind to me - in fact, he was downright emotionally abusive. And with each time he would dish out a dose of disrespect for me, two things would always happen:
1: I would hear a quiet voice in me say: Why are you putting up with this, you deserve better? And...
2: I would ignore the advice and swallow his insults like some horrible-tasting medicine.
I didn’t know it back then that the voice I heard every time, the voice that was trying to get my attention, was my inner wisdom speaking to me.
It’s a voice that never fails to speak to us when we’re off track in life: when we have to make a decision; when we tell a lie to others and to ourselves: when we’re mistreated; when we know someone or something isn’t good for us; or when we’re not being honest.
That voice never fails to speak, but the problem is that we sometimes don’t want to turn up the volume. I was afraid to turn up my volume because it would mean I’d have to walk away from him and risk losing the relationship. And that terrified me, because then what?
We’ve all heard that voice or had a feeling about something – how many times have you said: I have a gut feeling. It’s a sixth sense; an inner knowing; a hunch. It’s actually an amazing guidance system – a kind of GPS that’s built-in to us, but it’s all too often dismissed because the ego wants to be in charge.
For me back then, my brain was telling and alerting me not to risk losing my boyfriend because I need him to feel secure. I had innocently told myself this over and over. I didn't know any better. But if I had instead, turned up the volume and let that voice guide me, I could have avoided the emotional pain of being mistreated and gone on to find someone more loving.
The choice to be guided by our inner wisdom is at first scary. Why would I trust something that's invisible? We can't hold it in our hands, and we're not used to trusting something that we can't see with our eyes. But it’s in those times when we have difficult choices to make in life; when we have to decide whether someone is good for us or not - that we most need to lean into that voice.
I've come to see my inner voice as a best friend - someone who has my back. Because whenever I've listened to it, that voice has never failed to benevolently guide me to the right path.
Try it out for yourself and see.
I've teamed up with fellow coaches, Lana Bastianutti and Del Adey-Jones and we've created a 3-day workshop for women called: A Brand New Way of Dating, in which we learn how to show up more confidently in relationships and be guided by our inner wisdom - a must for any woman who wants to BE and Find an amazing partner. You can get all the details by clicking the link below:
